Friday, September 11, 2015

Pig Diaries #1

First, a preface.

In our city, there are dogs. And there are pigs. They do not like each other.
Everything below (mostly) is based on personal observation. ANNNDDDDDD scene.

Day 1
Today was peaceful. We saw a couple dogs in the distance, but we were in a group so nothing happened. It’s important to stay in big numbers. It scares them.

Day 2
Last night, they wouldn’t shut up. The drove is tired today. We’ve been hanging out at the local watering hole, just trying to catch up on sleep. We always have one pig on guard duty to watch for suspicious dog activity.

Day 3
This evening, George returned to us distraught. He went on a solo trip to the market. The rest of us stayed home. As he was coming back, a pack of dogs found him and surrounded him. They harassed him, barked at him nonstop, and bit at his legs. He ran all the way home, and I suspect he may have been crying along the way. Tomorrow we will gather to discuss this atrocious event.

Day 6
The drove has been planning a counterattack for days. An opportunity finally arose. Ironically, it was in the exact same location where George was attacked. The dog’s pack leader was trotting carelessly alone, and we surrounded him. He tried to bark us away and act like he was in control, but we knew we had him beat. We chased him until he admitted defeat and ran off. We hope this sends a message to the rest of the pack.

Day 8
The dogs have been keeping their distance. Only one or two have crossed pig territory, but they come and go quickly. Our message was well received.

Day 11
No dog sightings for three days. The small pig, Eric, and the full grown Penelope celebrate by getting it on in the street, except Eric can’t quite reach Penelope in the way he wants. He still celebrates by humping her back legs.

-Napoleon, Head Pig (aka Sally


  1. Very clever, I have a pack of Chihuahua ' s in our neighborhood that bark and bark at you ,.even in my own yard. So I tried a Dog Whisperer trick and claimed my yard ,by backing them all the way out , stood at the edge. They learn their boundries, but only for about a week at a time.